The Crossed Purposes of Love and Faith

The first time my love and I met for Happy Hour 14 months ago she had a real problem when I told her that I was an agnostic, and told me as much. A bit later she confessed that she was more than a little conflicted that evening because while she very much wanted to find a way to get me “back to church,” at the same time she wanted to sit in the parking lot and make out with me. Over the past month as I have stepped out and made my own way back to church I very much understand what she was going through.

Just opening my bible again is enough for me to almost switch personalities and go back to the person I was 18-years ago. Some might not have a problem with that (the folks sitting next to me in church for example), but I do. When I first considered this “rediscovery” I very much wanted to “retain” what I had learned over the years and not try to squeeze myself back into the “bible box” that didn’t fit when I left it all those years ago. But how do I balance all of this? Somewhere there has to be room for the humanity and understanding that I’ve gained over the years that doesn’t have to be in conflict with the truths that i still very much value.

Technorati Tags: biblestudy, faith, god&sex

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Note from Vineyard Long Beach Service - Rev. 2:1-11

Letters to the church - not message to the “end times” (us), but the “end times” for the nation of Israel/Jerusalem (70 AD).
* 1st church - Ephesus - beware of diluting the truth, lesson today: Christ plus anything - thoughts about Open Theology (god is changing, god is learning, it’s good for us to be able to participate in this learning)
* 2nd church - Smyrna - wrong living - sexual immorality - diluting the function (of sex?)… Ack

music: Alright - Janet Jackson - Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814

Technorati Tags: biblestudy, faith

Song on a Late Sunday Night

Lots on my mind… but no time to spend writing. I spent most of yesterday (Saturday) working on my niece’s computer (pulling the motherboard and components out of the black tower and installing the guts into the smaller mid-sized case). I also started re-recording more LPs, mostly from the early-80’s “Jesus Freak” days. It continues to be a pretty intense experience exposing myself to all of these old memories.

The first time I went back to church (Palm Sunday) I went to the last “church home” that I can remember, the church that my ex-wife and I got married in. When I chatted with my current love about the experienced she asked if I had memories about my ex- from the place. I had some, but it was such a new experience that I was pretty focused on the present moment and not 15-years ago. Interestingly, as I’ve gone through the LP catalog there have been moments when the music has reminded me of those days in the house on Euclid with my ex-. But listening to the music over the past day the memories are actually stronger of the days before my ex- when I was at Biola, even before my current love (whom I knew back in the Biola days)…

Technorati Tags: faith, god&sex, media, music

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Notes from the Vineyard Huntington Beach

Managing money God’s way: money and relationships…
* Luke 6:32-38… Concept that God gives out of love as one would whom you love (and he loves us all beyond our understanding). And our giving is based on relationships
* Luke 16:1-18 “Parable of the Shrewd Manager” use your resources to influence your “friends” toward Eternal Life… Gifts w/in the relationship as an expression of love and not selfish (for the common good of all)….

Technorati Tags: faith

Smaller than most home studies… ack!

Ok, Huntington Beach Vineyard… ten minutes early and not only is no one else there but the room is “home biblestudy” sized. Ack. So much for aninimity. Some folks are uncomfortable in crowds. At this stage I’m a little uncomfortable with “crowds” smaller that 20. But, I am here and it’s a bit too late to turn around. Unless I’m mistaken, I have a feeling that my love’s boss’ son goes to the evening service of the other Vineyard. Ack. Onward and upward. Help Mr. Wizard. JBB

Technorati Tags: faith