Alex’s Bar, Long Beach, CA
I finally got off my ass and went to see my friend’s live karaoke band “Mister Mister Miyagi.” I didn’t know a soul there, except my friend, Cliff, and finding parking was a real bitch but other than that it was a blast.

“What the hell is ‘live‘ karaoke?,” one might ask. Basically the band put together a list of over 80 songs from the 80s and invited folks to sign up and sing their favorite tunes. I’m not generally a karaoke fan but this was really fun. A roomful of wanna-be rock stars and there friends was loads of fun to watch and whenever someone faltered with their vocals the band (and crowd) was there to jump in and help the wanna-be. I really wanted share this with my friends and decided to shoot some video using my Treo650… Alas, having not shot too much video with the Treo I didn’t think about how the audio would come out with me standing about six feet away from the speakers…. Argh!!!!!! It’s bad enough that the video was all pixelated but the audio was totally blown out. Damn. Well, they’re gonna be back at Alex’s Bar in a couple weeks (Sept. 3rd) so I’ll try to catch some video then.

I had a great time but one of the little speed bumps that I ran into tonight was seeing someone who could have been my former lover’s clone, albeit the clone was several years younger. But seeing this other woman had the same effect on me. I could not keep myself from looking at her and looking for her when I didn’t see her. She had the same petite, slender body-type in tight jeans and heels, red hair and a lot of it, the same angular nose and perfect cheekbones. She spent a lot of time up front looking through the song list and acted a bit drunk. It reminded me of our night at the House of Blues on Sunset in LA when we went and saw Journey. In fact when the band played a Journey song I had to go to the bar to get another beer because it was threatening to become a bit too much for me to deal with. This other woman looked like she would be a real high maintenance problem… ha! Like my love wasn’t!

Anyway, that was bound to happen and it did. Funny thing when they started the Journey song and I decided to go get a beer my first thought was that the bitch had made her choice and she’s going to be hard pressed to find someone to love her and give her as much as I gave her. And that’s just too bad. The next thought was about all of the amazingly beautiful women there were in this little hole in the wall place. There are a lot of pretty girls in the world [doh!] … and that was a nice thought.

One other thing… I do feel bad about the “Relationship Autopsy” article that I wrote, even just the part about putting our picture in the blog with her face blotted out. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but I know that I needed to do it. Question is … well, I did put it in the public portion of the blog so it may come back to haunt me… but I don’t know.

I have no idea, but in the past, especially when communication for whatever reason was forbidden my love would go to my Pepperdine website… so there is the possibility that she could find the article. I don’t know. I needed to communicate what I was feeling, and the reality is that no one really reads this shit so there isn’t any reason for me to fret…. She never said anything about my site before, so it’s unlikely that she’ll ever take the time to read any of it. This is going to take me awhile to get over. There are probably going to be a lot of nights when my heart is going to stop because I’m going to think that I see her and at least as many times when I’m just going to cry in my pillow because I have never loved or given myself to anyone the way i did to her and having all of that come to nothing is like she’s died to me and i never actually got to have a real day-by-day relationship with her. I just need to get through these next few days and weeks. I just need to get though this. JBB