I’m hauling a cartload of books and a student jogs up to me and asks, “Do you need any help?” Pretty much every single time I say, “nah, that’s okay.” Why do I do that?

When it comes to hauling books around or delivering my weekly resupply of cases of gatorade and Clif bars I could certainly use the teenage muscle. But when the smiling faces show up at my door offering to help out, my brain immediately screams, “No!” Ack. It seems so stupid. Why not.

I think my first thought is that I want to get this done quickly and the fastest way to do it is to do it myself. Then the next thought is that no one does anything for nothing, so if I say “yes” than I’m going to have pay them off. Ack. It’s just easier to say, “No.”

So that’s deal I’ve made. But the last time this happened I was left thinking that there’s more here than the time and the payoff excuses. It’s a question if I’m willing to open myself up to the mutual investment in the community. It’s being willing to take it to the next level of letting them be involved in the menial tasks that need to get done. Maybe some teachers do this naturally, and I do give some of my students jobs to do when I can’t be there, but at the same time I have a particular need for self-sufficiency, probably coming from a desire to keep things as simple as possible. I guess I’m wondering if this need for self-sufficiency isn’t keeping me from form a stronger connection with my students and the student community. Maybe I’ll freak’em out next time they ask to help out and say “yeah.” jbb