Argh! I have a serious case of T-Rex arms today because two days ago I returned to the gym after a seven month break. It’s taken me all day before I feel at all comfortable stretching ’em all the way out. Then I apparently flex them in my sleep and I wake up with T-Rex arms again. Damn frustrating. It was so bad that I choose to skip a day lifting so that I didn’t cripple myself. Lame.
So, I wish I could report that there was an actual person in my life for whom all this effort could be attrbuted to (’cause we know the number one reason for a fat ass … er… fat gut such as myself to get off said ass is either because of a new relationship or to impress said woman). Nah, nada, nothing and no one…
Gotta operate in the same fucking emotional vacuum that has been my life for many years. Ouch. “I want you to want me” by Cheap Trick is playing on the radio.. Years, you ask? Yeah, even though it’s only been 18 days since I last saw or talked with you-know-who, I was told probably close to three years ago by said woman not to depend on her for anything (because of the difficult nature of her divorce). Hell, eighteen months ago we made a toast on New Year’s Eve to “emotional unavailability.” What was I thinking? Anyway, once the divorce was final I felt no more welcomed or wanted in her life than when she told me not to count on her all those years ago. Oops. Ok, much bigger than a simple oops. I wasn’t planning on goin’ there, stupid T-Rex arms. But it seems like everything else, I gotta suck it up and get past the stupid pain that goes much deeper than a pair of complaining biceps. JBB
asshole
Well said. Truth be told you always told the truth about where you were at. So if “blame” is to be fixed, it belongs to me because I just wasn’t paying attention to what you were really saying. I couldn’t hear it. I just didn’t recognize that what you needed and wanted wasn’t the same things that I needed and wanted. I certainly deserve the “asshole” moniker for not paying attention to that until now. JBB