I began my journey through Matthew’s gospel over 4 1/2 years ago. Those were amazing days. I had been away for 15-years and everything seemed so new. And I was in love, trying to understand how this could happen to me and more importantly how I was going to deal with the fact that everything about this love was “wrong.” So, when I decided to start reading my bible I decided to start somewhere that seemed safe, as far as reading about Jesus the advocate of the underdog and lover of sinners. I certainly could identify with all of that.

A few months ago, when I was moving this blog I noticed that, especially in that first year I was spending a lot of time reading and writing about this renewal experience, noting that in that first year it was almost a daily thing, whereas in these last couple years it had dropped to something much much less frequent. in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but notice that I was often frustrated with the same kind of infrequent communication with my beloved as I was giving to my Savior. I was not happy not being a daily part of her life and yet I was slow to apply the same measure to my time spent with Him.

So, when it came to finishing the book of Matthew I found myself going from the second half of chapter 26 to the end of the book without being able to find places to pull over and reflect on the passages. It was like all the participants from Judas, to Peter, to the Sanhedrin, to Pontius Pilate were all doing what they were supposed to do and there was no turning from their course in history. It felt like everything was rushing to concluding commission, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I will be with you always, to the end of the age.” Then the book came to a sudden end. For some reason it made me think about this stupid MadTV video… I guess what they mean to poke fun of causes me to ponder at why things happen the way they do… After 4 1/2 years I still have so many questions and so much to learn. JBB

Music: Road To Dead from the album “This Fire” by Paula Cole