For the month of November I’m participating in a daily gratitude challenge posted by the journaling app that I use, Day One, and here’s today’s prompt:

Who do I need to thank?

That’s a great question… My mind goes to my parents and those who came before me, in part, contributing to me having the opportunities that I’ve had. But there’s a hint in the prompt to consider someone I NEED to thank whom I haven’t thanked…  I can’t think of anyone whom I haven’t expressed thankfulness to (but now having written those words, I’m sure will come up…).

Then there’s the part of the prompt that may lead some to consider the ultimate giver of life… I’ve definitely entertained thoughts about needing to thank God for all the good things that I’ve experienced in my life, especially when I did not believe in my own agency in my own life. Alas, I mean no disrespect or belittlement of those who go immediately to thanking God for all good things, but I think it’s more important to dole out ones gratitude to those persons whom one has shared physical existence and time with. Unfortunately my parents and all of my aunts and uncles, except one, are no longer with us. That generation is not here for me to say thank you to. But I am at peace in that I feel like the last interactions that I had with them, particularly with my mom and dad, were good, that there wasn’t anything that needed to be said that wasn’t said. And when it was time for them to say their goodbyes, I didn’t feel the need for them to continue an existence where they could no longer be themselves.

I have been most fortunate in that I’ve had friends and. Family that when I needed a good kick in the butt, or someone to call me on my shit, they were there. And when I needed support, someone to cry with me or just sit with me, they’ve been there. I’ve been fortunate in that I have been loved in all the imperfect ways that humans love each other. I’m not done yet, but when my time comes, if we’ve crossed paths and shared a smile or a tear, thank you.