My parents grew up just after the American Great Depression in really large families where feeding all of those mouths had to have been a real source of anxiety. My generation and my son’s generation, we found other things to be anxious about, but I did grow up with the constant refrain from my mom, “finish your dinner, there are children in China who are starving.” As many stand-up comics have noted, I had no idea how eating everything on my plate was going to help the kids in China, but it helps in understanding how so many of us developed unhealthy relationships with eating and food. And having ones metabolism slow down as one ages is definitely an unappreciated gut-punch. So, how’s your relationship to food going? How do you cope or do you use food to cope? Please, feel free to respond in the comments wherever you find these daily reflection prompts.
JBB’s DRP for 3/16/23: Growing Up with Food as Reward/Food as Punishment
One thing that I noticed years ago when I was living in Long Beach, is that, by that time I had been living the vast majority of my life by myself without roommates or a significant other. So I realized that I spent most of my time eating alone and that stood directly opposite to how I had been raised. Growing up meals were a communal experience. Breakfast before school was with my siblings, lunch in the cafeteria at school and dinner with everyone in the family. But that all changed after I got divorced and got my own place. I realized that eating had become something I had to do but with little other value in my life. It didn’t stop me from over-eating, but it was definitely not something that I “enjoyed” when at home by myself.
Wherever I’ve lived I’ve found places that I enjoyed eating at and being among people, even if they weren’t good friends or significant others, made it more enjoy. And if I was in a relationship I would share those places. So, I guess I think my relationship with food is strongly based on it being somewhat of a shared experience. Thus, because I live alone, that means with breakfast and lunch, I eat what I want but it’s more utilitarian than something that I do for enjoyment.
So, I guess my mom’s admonition to eat everything because of some suffering soul in the world isn’t as lucky as I am to have food only enforced the notion that eating should be a shared experience. And if that’s not possible then it’s a tolerated necessity. Again, what’s your relationship with eat?